


When in doubt, I choose to gamble

by gemmarshmallow



Series: Of everyone I ever knew [1]
Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: 1x18, Episode Related, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-04 04:27:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2935238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemmarshmallow/pseuds/gemmarshmallow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Veronica's PoV as she walks into Journalism classroom after the kiss with Logan. Just a short snippet of what was going on in her mind when their gazes met.<br/>Chapter 2 shows Logan's PoV of the same situation<br/>Written some time when I started watching VM.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Is it nothing?

**Author's Note:**

> All rights to the characters and the story belong to Rob Thomas. I'm just borrowing the characters to explain the possible reasoning behind their actions.

Veronica was happy. Not only did her new journalism teacher Ms. Stafford allow her to publish the photos revealing Norris’ innocence in the KillEmAll matter, her work was also the most discussed thing in the whole school. No one bothered her with insults for a change. Even if only for a while.

She almost doesn’t notice Wallace joining her in the walk to her next class. Almost.

“In case you were wondering: Mr. Clemmons – not pleased.”

Veronica smiles. “I’ve lost sleep over it.”

Frankly, she hasn’t. But she _had_ thought about what this incident could mean to Ms. Stafford. After all, it is she who is responsible for the articles the school newspaper publishes. And, well, let’s face it, the lovely Mr. Clemmons would rather read about Madame Rousseau’s forty year anniversary at school and how she barely manages to sit through the whole class period without commenting on the latest episode of Downton Abbey. And let’s not forget about her skill of hearing every snarky remark any student has to say about her love for the show – don’t dare to speak, or you’ll be left for detention!

Wallace interrupts her thoughts:

“Did you have to mention Norris’ school records? Someone could have put two and two together.”

Oh, Wallace… She sometimes forgot how innocent her friend was. But then again, that was one of the reasons why they became friends in the first place.

“They will have to really speak sharply to me before I reveal my sources.”

Wallace starts laughing; Veronica separates from him and heads into the journalism classroom with a smile on her face.

But as soon as she enters Logan’s gaze stops her short and her smile fades. Not because she is unhappy to see him but because seeing him now makes her head spin from a thousand of thoughts running through her mind. Looking at Logan, Veronica can’t help but remember the moment of heaven they shared at the Camelot.

She remembers how she leaned in for a quick kiss on the cheek just wanting to honestly thank Logan for coming to the motel to save her from that ATF agent. She remembers how somehow the kiss went to a corner of his lips instead. She can see herself again there, frustrated, shaking her head just because she couldn’t believe she _actually_ kissed him on the lips, shaking her head to get rid of the momentary feeling of safety she felt standing next to him. Because that what it was – only a momentary thing.

But then she remembers his look, almost equally enticing as the one she sees now: deep brown eyes piercing her soul, a look of shock clouding them and tantalizing her. She remembers the feeling of his hand on her wrist just when she was about to walk away, and the moment his lips crushed hers. It was an unknown (but oh, so welcome) sensation, which overwhelmed her completely.

She had kissed other people before; _hell_ , she even kissed Lilly. And she had kissed Duncan, the one she really thought she loved. But the kisses with Logan were nothing she ever felt before, she could even remember the feeling just as it was then, she can almost feel his kisses _now_ – passionate, hurried, intense. She remembers the feeling of his hands on her body and the feeling on her own hands trying to pull him closer by his shoulders, his back.

She remembers how her mind seemed to be empty for a moment, not recognizing any of her worries – her mom in rehab, her dad dating Alicia, how scared she was when Ben startled her by climbing in her car. She remembers only feeling _him_.

And then her mind gets occupied remembering the moment they stopped kissing, the moment his hands left her, the moment he stepped away as if afraid of her reaction or maybe afraid of his own doing. She remembers herself snapping back to reality as if she’d touched the ground again after having fallen down from the sky. She remembers how the thought of Lilly crept up her mind and caused her to flee, to dash away. Because honestly, if she hadn’t been afraid of what just happened, afraid of actually enjoying it, afraid of betraying her dead best friend… Honestly, she would have kissed him again. But she ran away, the thoughts of Lilly on her mind.

She ran away then but she was unable to do so now. She was facing him in a public place where they were enemies, where nothing happened between them. (And maybe it was a good thing. Maybe nothing did happen between them. Why was she thinking so hard about this?)

Almost embarrassed by her own thoughts Veronica, still looking at Logan’s eyes, tries to find an answer to how she should be feeling, to what exactly happened and what were or weren’t they now.

It seems as though Logan doesn’t feel comfortable either as she notices him looking down. Good. Maybe he is at least _a bit_ affected by what happened. Also, it almost seemed they were staring at each other far longer than necessary so she was at least a tad grateful he looked away.

“Listen up, everybody. I have an announcement”, she hears just seconds after Logan looks up at her again.

Feeling uneasy but not wanting to give anything away Veronica tucks her hands in her pockets and walks away from the door. She still can’t get the image of Logan out of her mind and sneaks several glances his way before finally focusing on Ms. Stafford’s words.

Subtly as ever, she keeps secretively looking at him even when Ms. Stafford leaves the school and Veronica is forced to motivate other students to work on the school paper.

Who knows, maybe looking at Logan will give her any idea of what to expect next.


	2. It's not like I expected it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan's PoV of that same moment at the end of 1x18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Years, everyone! Enjoy the 2015 whether it already came or is still on the way! I wish you all many fanfics of the wonderful couple and the best of success in writing!
> 
> Once again, all rights to the characters and the story belong to Rob Thomas. I'm just borrowing the characters to explain the possible reasoning behind their actions.

Logan hears the door to the classroom open. Journalism was always one of the few classes he could tolerate but this sub proved to be just another puppet of the school’s headmaster. Until this morning. To say he was surprised to see the article about the ATF framing a student on the front page of the school’s newspaper would be an understatement. Then again, he knew how persuasive Veronica Mars could be and he had no doubt it was her who talked the teacher into printing the photos she took. 

Fixating his look on the entrance to the classroom he is met with the eyes of the already mentioned tiny blonde detective.

Veronica. Veronica, Veronica, Veronica…

God, he felt lost.

Logan actually wanted to kiss her even before he did. And he felt terrified. Of course, she was the only one who tried to help him when he thought his mom was still alive. She was the only one who understood the feeling of losing one’s mother, even though the circumstances of hers and his losses were different. But still… She was Lilly’s best friend. And contrary to popular opinion, even though Lilly has been gone for some time now, he still hasn’t forgotten her. He still hasn’t moved on.

Thinking ( _really_ thinking – he knew every other girl he dated after… they were just to keep an image) about somebody else felt like betrayal of Lilly.

And so Logan blocked all thoughts of Veronica Mars from settling in his mind. But there, at the Camelot, where he really was worried for her safety, where he anxiously waited for her to step out of the room… There, he couldn’t think about anything else. 

He still couldn’t believe she kissed him. And the moment she did, the moment he saw the uncertain look in her eyes, reflecting his own surprised expression, he lost it. He couldn’t control himself as he pulled her in for a long kiss. Inside, he was relieved when she kissed him back (and surprised at how _eagerly_ she kissed him back and how _un-Veronica like_ the kiss felt to him).

Now he was looking at the same petite girl, searching for an answer to the most pressing question: what happens next? He wanted to feel her lips again, if he was honest with himself, but the guilt of betraying Lilly still haunted him. Logan sometimes scolded himself when he thought of touching Veronica again, when she replaced Lilly in his mind. Other times, he found himself thinking that Lilly would actually _like_ the idea of him imagining R-rated scenarios with Veronica. She would probably call it amusing and wouldn’t even be bothered by it.

But he was thinking about VERONICA MARS – the girl who was despised by everyone in Neptune High (by his own doing actually), except that new kid Wallace and the sweet innocent Meg. She was the girl who his one and only best friend Duncan was still obviously in love with (even though he was the one who dumped her). So yes. The situation was more than complicated and Logan searched in her expression for any indication of what Veronica was thinking.

But her face was expressionless, and even though she stopped in her tracks immediately after she noticed him looking, Logan couldn’t figure anything out. Of course, Veronica was known to mask her emotions; she had a whole year of Logan insulting her to perfect her poker face and act as though nothing ever bothered her. But most of the times, he could see through her façade – it was necessary for him to know what bothers Veronica most, it was his calling, after all, – to taunt her. Or… It used to be. He didn’t know what he should do now.

Logan cast his eyes downwards. Partly because he didn’t want to raise any suspicion to people around him and partly because he needed to see if she would still be looking at him when he glanced up at her. When he did, after a second, Logan found Veronica still unable to turn her focus elsewhere. He almost smiled when he remembered that she looked exactly the same when she was rushing to leave the motel as fast as she could.

Because he couldn’t hold Veronica’s questioning and intense gaze for so long, he looked at Ms. Stafford. Also, the girl proved to be a reminder of everything Logan now tried to forget. At least for this _particular_ moment he will focus on something else. Until he decides what his next move should be or if there should be one at all; until they are not amongst their classmates and can really talk; until he settles his rushing thoughts. 

Or maybe until he can just kiss her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter titles are from the lyrics of "Momentary Things" by Something Happens.
> 
> And I still appreciate reviews

**Author's Note:**

> I'll probably add Logan's PoV as the next chapter. Still, this is my first fic that I post on ao3 and I would love anything you could say about this. Whatever it is you think about it, please share your opinion. Thank you.
> 
> Chapter titles are from the lyrics of "Momentary Things" by Something Happens.


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